Chapter 13

“The boy toy – the slacker that was supposed to come to Jersey with me on my birthday.”

“yeah”

“Well he couldn’t remember what he promised people.”

“But I know that now. I know, for example, if I promise to be home in a hour I know to be there or call you and explain why.”

“exactly”

“see easy to fix – but I knew with Dot she’d ignore it if I didn’t get home on time- I’d eventually pay for it.”

“how?”

“Eventually I’d get scolded and sex was not an option for about a week then I wasn’t in trouble anymore.” Jon stated matter of fact.

“Denied sex and you didn’t have a problem with it?” Danielle asked.

“No, that was her game. It was easy for me to understand when all of a sudden she had a headache 2 nights in a row. ‘I get it your unhappy’ and then I just had to figure out what I had done, apologize and we were good.”

“How is that fair?” Danielle asked. “You shouldn’t have to do penance in your marriage like you would for confession.”

“It's really not it's just how we operated.”

“Seems like you had rules that were screwy.”

“Be with someone for 30 yrs–you come up with reasons for things and ways of letting people know you’re pissed without saying it. Silent gestures of oh I have a headache for a week is easier than nagging at me.”

“it was ok with you for her to w/hold sex?” Danielle asked again.

“No I didn’t like it but it was a pattern my actions had consequences and I knew that but I still did things my way, it's inconsiderate and rude to not call if you’re going to be late. I didn’t call – my bad, I deserved a consequence. Ok it's your turn for a question.” Jon knew without them stating so they were pretty much playing Truth.

“Have you ever hit a woman?” Dani asked him.

“Hell no, and I never will. I taught my sons they same way my father taught me. If I ever touched a woman in anything other than in a way to pleasure or comfort her he’d knock me out. I told my boys the same thing.”

“Have you ever gotten close.”

“Once. One time Dot and I got into such a fight I could have done it if I didn’t have more respect for her than that.”

“What the heck happened that pushed you that far over the edge?”

“Well I had been gone for some reason or other, and when I walked into the house the first thing out of Dot’s mouth was ‘you’re fucking cheating on me’. Well I have a problem with that. Not that she accused me of it because we all know I’m not perfect but that it was the first thing she said when I walked in the door and at the volume she was at. I asked where the kids were, found out they were with our parents and then looked at her and told her. ‘Don’t you ever attack me when I walk in the door again. If you want to fight with me, give me the time to take my coat off first.’ Well she continued to scream and I was so close to losing my cool I had to turn and basically run down to our gym and lock myself inside for a 2 hr workout. When I came out I was calm enough to tell her that she will not ever treat me like that again. It was also the only time in our relationship I threatened her with divorce.”

“Being married to you isn’t easy is it?”

“No from what I understand it sucks, everyone wants a piece of me. Reporters, women, it's never perfect.”

“how do you survive it?” Danielle asked.

“Whole lot of communication with those I love. You get through nothing in this world without it.”