Chapter 33

“Baby lets go to bed.” Jon encouraged Dani and started to lead her to the back of the bus.

“Hey that’d be great honey but you have a show to do in about 30 minutes.” Danielle reminded him.

“Shit, stay horny I’ll be back.” Jon kissed his wife and ran off the bus back into the arena and onto the stage within minutes.

Danielle chuckled at the fact that he almost forgot about a show. Too busy thinking with his cock. Danielle changed into a skirt and a red Have A Nice Day Baby T. She grinned at the tightness of the shirt because Jon keeps telling her she can pull it off. She ended up in the audience and rocked out with the rest of the crowd. After the concert when the band is about to take the stage for the final encore Danielle made her way back to the stage exit. She wanted Jon in the worst way. Watching him enticingly tease the crowd into a frenzy of sexual tension. Danielle knew that after a show like that most of the men in the audience that came to the show with a woman were going to get laid very well tonight.

Jon exited the stage to high fives and slaps on the back and smiles. Once he sees his wife though he immediately extricates himself from the crowd and walks over to her, “Hey sexy.” Jon wrapped his arms around her bare waist, “I think I’d like to see you in the bus.”

“Don’t you need a shower?” She smiles from the embrace she's enjoying.

“Yes, but aren’t you just going to get me sweaty again?”

“OH I will but not this sweaty. Come on I’ll show you where the shower is.”

Jon followed Danielle to the bus and got into the shower that she pointed out. “Don’t change I wanna take that off you.” He’d kiss her.

“Ok sexy.” Danielle told him as he stepped into the shower. After he is in the shower Jon’s assistant knocked on the bus door and Danielle answered it.

“HI this is the Giants/Green Bay game for Jon.”

“Ok thanks Tracy.” She then left and Danielle was left with a quandary. Does she seduce Jon when he gets out of the shower or give him the copy of his football game and be left alone for 2 hours while Jon watched it?

“Hey sexy I’m all clean now, care to make me dirty again?”

“I’d love to sweetie but I have an admission to make.”

Jon wrappd his arms around his wife and kiss her neck. Nibbling and teasing.

“What do you have to be honest about?”

“Tracy just delivered a copy of the Green Bay/Giants game so do you want to do me or watch the game?” She’d ask hoping he’d pick her.

Jon took the DVD and put it on top of the TV and Danielle’s face dropped, Jon turned around and took her back in his arms. “Games’ already over and cold they played in Green Bay, you aren’t cold. Can I unwrap my present?” Jon asked.

“Am I a present?” Danielle asked eagerly.

“My present.” Jon would slowly pull her t-shirt over her head. Revealing a red lacy bra and nipples so erect you’d think he’d been sucking on them for the last 20 minutes.

Jon’s hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs taunting her already aching buds. “Tease” Danielle moaned.

“I’m not teasing, I’ll fulfill you all night lover.” Jon kisses his wife and laid her down on the bed following with his body. She arches up to him. Eagerly anticipating his touch, his caress. She moves close enough to smell the fresh clean scent of her just showered husband. His body needs hers, as much as mentally he knows he should be able to just hold her and be satisfied. That won't work tonight. Tonight because of what they discussed and as open as she was with him, he has to show her in a way he knows she'll understand that he truly does love her, all of her, even the parts that she's scared to reveal. Right now, all he can think of and all he wants is, to bury his body deep inside hers and make her scream his name.

“Jon please, I need you.” She moaned making him smile into her neck.

“Louder honey, moan for me louder.” He loved hearing her. He can’t wait to hear her sharp intake of breath as his body takes possession of hers. He's shocked that as of now, only a little over a month into their marriage, he already anticipates certain things from his spouse. He knows when he enters her body she moans, but its not sexual almost its more of fulfillment, almost like her body is happy to have him inside. He needs to hear that now. Reading the situation by moving his hand down to move her panties and realize she wasn’t even wearing any, “Sexy naughty wife.” Jon would slide two fingers inside.

“All yours.”

“Damn I love you.” Jon wasted no time he just moved on top of her and replaced his fingers with his cock. The feeling of her juices over his fingers hardens him even more. Her eagerness for sex is another facet of this marriage that makes him happy with the decision they made to not take things slow.

“OHHH” Danielle inhaled and made Jon give her a delighted look. Damn he loved her body’s reactions to his, while completely predictable it enticed him more every time. The inner ego trip loved the rush of knowing he could make her whimper for his touch. He moved back momentarily and watched her. He wanted so badly to show her a man could be strong, forceful even primal without causing her any pain. Somehow he knew deep within himself that if she experienced just once a man at his strongest, and still enjoyed it, the pain from the past would somehow heal.

As her body began to peak he pushed in deeper, pushing her over that invisible barrier of control she liked to keep between them. He wanted her out of her ability to control, wanted her, no NEEDED her to be needy and he needed her surrender tonight.

“JON!!” She’d cry out as her body peaked, Jon smiled and took what she willingly was giving just now. He knew in 5 minutes she’d have control of her emotions again but right now she was his. “Tell me Dani. Tell me how you feel.” Jon collapsed on top of her but continued to kiss her ear and neck.

“I love you Jon.” She moaned honestly and Jon continued to kiss her neck a single tear falling from his eye. He really questioned if she’d ever let him in or not. He may not have played entirely fair to get his answer but he now knows. She does love him she’s just to scared to say it in the harsh light of day.

After that exercise session, Danielle cuddled up to Jon while he watched the game. While she was still blissfully unaware of her surroundings Jon got up put the game in and got back in bed to cuddle with her while he catches up on his Giants. He had refused to watch or listen to anything that might discuss the game. Luckily being in Australia helped, they didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to American sports.

It was almost halftime when Danielle became coherent again. “Did you mean to knock me out?” She asked kissing his chest.

“No but it worked, I got to watch my game and you were all cuddled up to me.” Jon turned and kissed her because it was half time. He truly wanted to see if she’d admit to loving him now that she’s done it once. He’d move lower in the bed to be even with her.

“Hey beautiful.”

“Yes Jon.” She’d smile shyly.

Jon took his hand and cup the side of her face running it into her hair.

“I’m happy I married you. We did this the right way, we learned how to be real with each other first and fell in love second. I love you Danielle Bongiovi.” Jon kissed her deeply and then look longingly into her eyes.

“Jon.” She’d start.

“Yes” He’d answer eagerly wanting so much to hear the woman he’s going to spend the rest of his life with tell him her heart belongs to him.

Just then there would be a knock on their door on the bus.

“Hey guys we’re at the hotel in the next city lets go.” Tico announced.

“I’m gonna kill my drummer.” Jon grumbled knowing that the moment is broken and she’s not going to admit anything now. He’d help her up and get dressed, he’d take the DVD out of the player and bring it with him as they move into the hotel and into their room. He’d slide the DVD back in the player and look at Del.

“I’m thinking we were doing perfectly fine naked in one another’s arms what do you think?” Jon smiled taking his shirt off.

“As enticing as that sounds honey I’m going to take a shower.”

“Ok I’ll watch my game all alone in that big lonely bed.”

“I’ll be back soon honey you won’t be alone for long.” Danielle kissed his neck and walked into the bathroom.

Her mind is just as torn as Jon’s is. Did she tell him earlier tonight she loved him? She couldn’t remember, he absolutely rocked her world sexually and that orgasm was one of the most intense she’s had in weeks. As she stepped under the warm spray and starts to shampoo her hair she’s racking her brain trying to determine if she said it out loud or just inside her head for the millionth time.
Somehow she could tell Jon wanted to hear it. Now that he has told her he has such a hopeful look in his eyes every time he says it. Danielle knew what she was waiting for, why she was holding back. She was scared, point blank, easy. This was her idol and as much as she could separate Jon her husband from JON her fantasy it was still hard to believe that Jon was telling her on a semi regular basis now that he loves her. She kept waiting the other shoe to drop. Maybe it was a joke, maybe he just wanted her to say it so he could laugh. “Maybe you’re an idiot” She told herself out loud as she rinsed the conditioner from her hair. She knew what she had to do, fear be damned she had to give this man the one thing she has denied him thus far. Her heart and soul. He already had her body, the ring on her finger reminds her that she has his too. A woman should love her husband. Its naturally for a man and wife to tell each other they love each other on a daily basis. “He didn’t run Dani - even when he found out the scary parts of you.” She’d again tell herself out loud as she dries off, blow drying her hair a little to get half the water out. As she’d exit the bathroom with a cozy bathrobe wrapped around her she’d see the love of her life bouncing around on the bed hollering for his Giants.

She knows she could put him to the ultimate test right now. She could find out very quick where she rated. She could ask him to turn the game off but she just couldn’t do that to him. She’d look at the game and there is 2 minutes left. She knows in football time that means 30 minutes so she moves over to the desk and opens her laptop working on some emails for the band, back to promotions and merchandising for the next leg of the tour.

“YES!!!! We’re going to the SUPERBOWL!!!!!” Jon started dancing all over the room. He’d grab her and pull her into his arms “SUPERBOWL BOUND BABY!!!” He’d then kiss her so deep she get dizzy.

“Damn Jon if you’re like this every time your Giants win am I going to survive when they are Super bowl Champs?”

“OH yeah I’ll give you rest periods.” He smirked kissing her again dancing around to the beat that’s only in his head. She couldn’t resist he looks so happy.

“Jon.”

“Yes my love.”

She’d smile even bigger. “I love you.”

“YES!!!!” He hollered and picked her up and swinging her around landing them both on the bed in a heap.

“Really? For real?” Jon didn't want to mistake this.

“For real Jon. I love you, all of you even your football addiction.”

“Damn woman you have made me the happiest man in the world. I love you Mrs. Bongiovi.”

“I love you Mr. Bongiovi. I am proud to call myself your wife.”
Jon kissed her deeply then look at her with a glint in his eye.
“Lets make a baby, right now right here.”

“Ok.” She’d smile again loving the happiness in his eyes. She’d do anything at that moment to make sure that happiness never goes away.

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Chapter 34

"You want to go to the beach?" Danielle asked on the plane ride back to the US.

"It's February!"

"So its not like we have to go swimming."

"And what would you like to do besides swim my lovely wife." Jon
smirked dropping his sunglasses off his eyes to let her see the smile in his blue orbs.

"I was thinking a little this, a little that. You know." She smirked back.

"No I don't know Mrs Bongiovi." Jon grabbed her and pulled her closer to him.

"Please fasten your seat belts we'll be landing shortly." The captain advised over the intercom.

"Look we're home."

"Brat you'll pay for that." Jon smirked.

"Promises Promises." Danielle laughed.


~ ~ ~
As they walked into the house, Danielle smiled Anthony had done good. The house was redone, and looked nothing like the house Jon and Dot lived in.

"Baby what did you have him do?"

"You don't like it?"

"Actually I love it, I love that its ours and we're both seeing it for the first time together, makes it more ours in a way. Is Anthony done completely?"

"No he said there were a few more rooms he didn't get to yet but they are ones that you never used anyway."

"Well come on woman, lets go see our house I can't wait to see your style. So far I love the earth tones."

Jon let Danielle lead him into what he knows to be the pool. Never a room he's spent much time in other than to exercise since it was always incredibly bright. His eyes just couldn't handle it.

What Jon encountered reminded him again of the beautiful woman he had married. "Baby I love this." He told her while taking her in to his arms.

"Really?"

"Yes. It looks like our personal little relaxation hideaway." Jon would kiss her temple an take her hand and walk around the pool. He didn't know how she had managed this but the pool was different. This one was still a rectangular pool but now it was all set in with the walls. Which looked to be stones you'd find outside set together in perfect harmony to build up the walls. The far end of the pool had actually small waterfall.

"A waterfall?"

"Well to me they are peaceful. After seeing the kind of stresses your under on a regular basis I thought having a tranquil place to relax would be welcome."

"Baby the stone work around this whole room and the waterfall, you thought of everything."

"Actually I did." She'd smirk and hit the light switch. Inside the pool and the jacuzzi lights would come on and behind the waterfall. Also all around the top of the walls aiming at the ceiling lights would appear, removing even more of the harsh lighting leaving them basking in a evening oasis. "Wanna relax a bit Jon?" She'd ask walking over to the Jacuzzi and removing her clothes.

"You're serious? Naked jacuzzi with you?"

"We are the only two with the access code to this pool, no kids allowed this is just for the peace and quiet you need and the daringness I feel." Danielle said stepping naked into the foaming hot water. Jon instantly removed his clothes and joined her. Once inside the hot tub he takes her in his arms and looks around.
He sees the natural basalt rock for the waterfall. He notices all the plants, there are enough of them in here to make sure the fresh air remains but also so it doesn't look cold and hotel like. This pool area is seriously a sanctuary for him. His wife has done it; she created a spot in the house which shows just how deeply she understands what he wants and needs.

After they played in the pool for about an hour the relaxed couple got out and got dressed again.

“Wow you hit the nail on the head baby.” He kissed Del again. As they exited the pool area Del smiled, “Glad you like it, the code is our anniversary by the way.”

“Ah making sure I remember the date huh?” He teased knowing full way she wouldn’t play that game it was just probably an easy code to give Anthony via email.

“Absolutely.” She smirked and pulled him into her arms again for a kiss. Come on I have one more room to show you tonight before we go to bed.”

“Oh bed, has that room been redone too?” Jon asked.

“Yes baby it has.” Danielle took his hand and led him to his music room. “I’m 100% the opposite of Dot in one category. I want your guitars and music throughout the house. I also understand though that you need a place in the house that’s all yours, so I had your music room redone. I hope you like it.”

When Jon walked into what he knew to be his music room, his eyes behold elegance. What was once just a piano and old tattered furniture has been transformed by someone that loves him and his music equally. Someone now understands his need to just escape into his songs.

Everything had been redone. The floor was once carpeted but was now a deep oak hardwood floor. The center of the room covered with an elegant maroon and blue area rug. The walls had been repainted to a light tan, muted so even when the sun blazed in the rounded floor to ceiling windows at the end of the room, it wouldn’t blind him. The ceiling was what blew his mind. He’d never imagined she’d put so much thought into making this room a haven for him. She had the ceiling redone so now it looked like it had incased lighting and round molding. The way the lighting was set it made the ceiling have such a royal glow to it.

Jon walked to the right. He saw bookcases and couldn’t think of what would be in there. As he approached he realized the books were not only everything ever published on Bon Jovi but also books on guitars, books discussing piano tuning and how to play fiddle. She had taken the time to truly furnish this room with everything he’d ever need or want. As he turned around and took the room in, he ran his hand over the back of the maroon suede couch, noticing the light tan armchair next to the couch. He wondered if that’s where she’d sit when he played the baby grand piano set up to watch out the windows. Or his guitar that was placed next to the piano for easy reach. Maybe she’d sit across the room in one of the light brownish red armchairs and watch him from behind, she did love his back view she’s told him many times.

Jon closed his eyes and sang a scale. The perfection and acoustics in this room was music to his ears. It almost sounded like he was in a theater. The other thing that came to mind when he closed his eyes was the smell. Or maybe lack there of. His old music room had no plants so it didn’t have much clean air. Get him in here after a night of drinking and you’d smell the alcohol the next day. This room however had multiple large plants and decorative plants that did wonders for keeping the air not only breathable but clean.

“If there’s anything you don’t like I’ll tell Anthony to change it.” Danielle told him from the doorway.

“Get over here.” Jon ordered in a light tone. Danielle figured she messed something up so she walked hesitatingly to his side while he stood by the baby grand. “Yes.”

“I love you; you are the best wife in the universe. This is perfect, this room, the acoustics, the fact that it no longer smells like a gym locker in here. You did this for me.”

“Yes honey, you need a place to just escape into your music, I don’t think you should be sent to a dungeon for that.” She explained smiling softly happy she didn’t mess things up. Of all the rooms she had Anthony redecorate this room made her the most nervous.

“Which of these chairs is going to be where you sit and watch me when you sneak in trying to not disturb me?” He grinned knowing her so well already, being a fan meant she was going to always be in love with the rock star Jon as well as the man.

Danielle smirked knowing she’s busted. “That one.” She pointed to one of the tan chairs that will be behind him when he’s sitting at the piano.

Jon took her hand and walked her to the chair standing her in front of it for a moment before starting to remove her pants.

“What are you doing?”

“Breaking the chair in right.” Jon smirked as he got her pants and panties off then pushed her back so her ass ended up in the chair, a shock look on her face while Jon lowered his own jeans before kneeling in front of her.

“What are you doing?” She asked again hoping this time he’d stop making all her fantasies fail in comparison to the real man she was now married to.

“Loving my wife. Enjoy baby.” Jon quickly moved his hands to her thighs opening her and placing her legs on the arms of the chair,

“mine.” Jon moaned before quickly attacking her. His mouth found her clit without a moment’s hesitation, her body already primed from the play time they had in the pool, it took no time at all for her to be ready for him and he completely took advantage of that. Within minutes he slid his cock home. The chair had such a straight back on it, it made them conform to a different position but that was half the fun. Getting deep enough inside her to make her cum was a task Jon was all to willing to accept. Her body in this position was tighter than she normally was in the throws of orgasm he could only imagine how great she’d feel when she came.

“Jon OH GOD Jon!” Danielle screams as he pushes her closer and closer to the edge.

“OH baby yes!” Jon answers his body feeling it, his back is bent in the most uncomfortable way but she feels too good around his cock for him to change positions. As he pushes deeper inside his wife they both scream in orgasm. Jon couldn’t take it anymore as soon as he has the ability to think again he pulled her out of the chair and cuddles with her on the hard wood floor that feels better than the position they were just in.

“The floor?” Danielle asks as she cuddles to him.

“I think I may have broke my back with that last position.” Jon tells her.

“Are you serious?” She asked actually worried about him.

“I’m in pain honey; just hold me it’ll get better in minute. I’m just not as young as I used to be.” Jon told her not wanting to let on exactly how much pain he was really in.

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Chapter 32

Jon moved to walk out of the room to confront Jacob and Danielle grabbed his arm, "Jon."

"You probably shouldn't be provoking me right now." He looked back at his wife with anger in his eyes. He can't believe he has to go calm down a situation of his wife hitting a guy. How the hell did he get himself into this? Did he really marry this volatile of a woman?

"Jon I know you care about me. But right now I'm asking as your wife for you to trust me, trust that I didn't hit him for no reason." Danielle asked him hoping he'd have reason enough to believe in her.

Jon looked down at his wedding ring. "Del I don't just care about you, I've fallen in love with you. I trust you'll explain to me what this is all about in great detail after I get Jacob to admit what he did. I understand if you've lived through this its hard on you. Please don't make this any harder by closing off to me. WE have to present a unified front right now and after word we're going to talk." Jon told her.

"You love me?" Danielle asked.

"Figures that's all you heard." Jon smiled and kissed her tenderly. “Yes and we’ll talk about that more too.” He'd then take her hand and walk out into the backstage area.

Jacob was fuming and stomping back and forth.

"Jacob thanks for waiting, now would you please explain to me what happened that lead up to security getting involved?"

"You're fucking wife kicked the shit out of me." Jacob screamed.

"Well that seems pretty extraordinary because she's not a violent person. What provoked this?"

"I have no idea."

"Really?" Jon asked quietly.

"She just hit me."

"For no reason?" Jon asked again.

"She saw me and my girl arguing and went off on me."

"Now Jacob, I'm married to this woman, we argue from time to time and she never hits me. Tell me more details. What caused this altercation?"

“Nothing she just flipped out.” Jacob lied to Jon.

“Well forgive me if I happen to believe the woman I love when she tells me there was a reason. I’ll just go ahead and ask some of the crew that work around you on a daily basis. I’m sure they’ll remember something.” Jon then grabbed the walkie like he was going to call someone to him when Jacob opens his mouth.

“Ok she saw me and Melissa fighting.”

“Yes you already told me that. She wouldn’t get that upset over two people arguing.” Jon again is using his very subdued quiet tone to hopefully give Jacob a sense of security since he’s not being scolded.

“I smacked my woman. She pissed me off and I had to put her back in her place. You know how it is.” Jacob tried to relate to Jon on a testosterone level.

“No actually I don’t, you see Jacob I’m a real man and real men never touch their woman with an angry hand. You have however, earned yourself a dismissal from Bon Jovi Entertainment. You are no longer employed and will be sent home on a one way ticket.”

“What the fuck you can’t fire me for arguing with my woman.”

“Actually I can. See my last name is Bon Jovi I’m kind of the head guy around here and I put in the bylaws of all employment orientation packets a little phrase about NO physical abuse allowed. Breaking that rule earns you termination of employment.”

Jon looked at Danielle and she’d say into the walkie. “Security to the dressing room please.”

Jacob figured there’s nothing to lose now so he looks at Danielle. “You better watch your back bitch.”

“You honestly think I’m scared of you? I kicked your ass once I can do it again, I’m not a woman you should be threatening. I‘m not weak and I’m not scared of you.”

“I agree with my wife, you see Jacob there’s something you should take to heart. If you ever come anywhere near my wife or threaten her in anyway you will be shown exactly what happens to people that piss me off. You see I was married to a 4th degree black belt for 20 yrs, do you honestly think I didn’t learn how to hurt someone really bad? Don’t you ever think of threatening or hurting my family.” Jon finished his threat and security took Jacob away. He’d also get security to watch Melissa and someone to talk to her about her options once the tour is back in the US for her safety.

Jon then turned to Danielle, “come on Mrs. Bongiovi its time you and I have our talk.” Jon leaned in and kiss her to ease her fear.

“Just talk?”

“Yes, no yelling no breaking up don’t worry about that, Danielle I have to know about this, we have to work through it and understand it so it won’t happen again.” Jon kissed her tenderly, taking her bottom lip in between his and sucking just a moment. He can see her fear radiate off of her. He knows she’s thinking no matter what she’s gonna be alone after this conversation so he’s letting his actions show her what words can not convince her of.

His arm encircled her waist and he walked her back to the bus. Once on the bus they sit down on the couch out front. The guys are still roaming around the arena and meeting fans so he knows they’ll have privacy.

“Alright baby, can you tell me about this asshole and how bad he hurt you, I can see it in your eyes its still there.”

“I was alright until Jacob brought it all back. I was young and stupid. Fresh out of college and moved to Arizona. I met a guy shortly after moving there that seemed great on the surface. He and I started hanging out and soon we were together. The thing was it didn’t take long for his controlling nature to surface and for me to quickly change who I was just to make sure he wouldn’t leave me all alone. Jon I became something I’m not. I became weak and insecure. Mind you I was living on the other side of the country from everyone and everything I knew, he was the first person to make me feel like I had something that was totally mine but the first time he pushed me into a wall should have been a clue to me. The first time he grabbed my arm hard enough to leave bruises should have been a red flag. I was told not to do this and not to do that. Everything we did had to be on his schedule and what he wanted to do. I soon started smoking to deal with the stress this was causing me, then I got yelled at by him for smoking so I’d sneak them. His great way to punish me for acting out or disobeying was anal sex.”

“OH my GOD honey, he hurt you on so many levels.” Jon took her hand and see in her eyes that she wasn’t completely there with him.

Danielle knew if she didn’t continue now and tell him everything she never would. “It wasn’t until almost a year into the situation that I finally woke up. He pulled a gun on me one night when I told him no to something. I managed to get out of his apartment and back to my own but I didn’t sleep that night because he had a key. Worse yet, he and I worked together, so the next day at work I was in fear and my friend Ryan saw it. He and my other friend Ted made me explain to them why I was in such fear and on edge. When I told them that Darryl was violent and we were together they both hugged me and told me I was safe now. I explained to them that I wasn’t cos he had a key to my house he could hurt me whenever he wanted. Ryan then went into the office and closed the door. I’m not sure what happened but he walked out with my key and even spent the night that night at my house on my couch to let me feel safe enough to sleep.” She’d finish the hardest part. Danielle opened her eyes and looked at Jon.

“He didn’t win though as you can tell. I saw him about 5months later and I was me again by then, realized that no matter what no one in this world has the right to hit me or hurt me. I told him off and told his then wife what an ass he truly was and warned her to beware. I also realized and I’ll tell you again - it was because of your music, that no one can ever get me to that spot again.”

“Why baby, tell me what you mean?”

“Jon you know I’m a fan and I’ve told you a million times, there’s always been a Jovi song around to get me through the night. Well this was probably the darkest time in my life and of course there was Jovi to get me through it.”

“What song?”

“You mean songs…Something for the Pain was huge for me then, Something to Believe In, oh and so many more." Danielle admitted. She figured if she's going to have this conversation with him it should be all the truth of those times. “When I finally started to believe in love and believe in the fairy tale again and believe I would survive, Without Love was one of my favorite songs.”

Jon tried to run through the lyrics of these songs in his head but was a loss, the catalogue of music they’ve done makes it almost impossible for him to pull lyrics to the forefront of his mind without the music to jog his memory.

Danielle noticed his confusion.

“Too many lyrics running through your head huh?”

“Honestly yes, I can’t think of what you’d hear in those songs to help. Can you tell me?”

“Sure. In Something to Believe in it was:

Tonight I'll dust myself off
Tonight I'll suck my gut in
I'll face the night and I'll pretend
I got something to believe in

Though I know I won't win
I'll take this one on the chin
We'll raise a toast and I'll pretend
I got something to believe in

In a world that gives you nothing
We need something to believe in

Those lines just hit a cord in me at the time and allowed me to know that everyone gets the wind knocked out of them at times and if you need to pretend to get by go for it.

Something for the Pain was simply the opening.


Happiness, it's been no friend to me
But forever after ain't what it's all cracked up to be
Yeah, I had a taste, you were my fantasy
But I lost my faith when I hit reality

And then part of the lyrics later.

I've tried to need someone, like they needed me
I opened up my heart, but all I did was bleed
I don't need no lover, just to get screwed
They don't make a bandage, that's going to cover my bruise

Without Love was my hopeful song if you will. Its when I realized that even though I got burned hardcore this time, you can’t close yourself off because :

Without love, there's nothing without love
Nothing else can get through the night
Nothing else feels right without love

I see my life
There's some things I took for granted
Love's passed me by
So many second chances
I was afraid
But I won't be afraid no more

So do you think your wife is psycho yet?” Danielle asked Jon.

“No but I’m very happy the music was there to help you through. I never can understand the loyalty fans show to us but this helps me get it. If there are more people like you out there that had something happen and there was a song of ours that helped them cope it all makes so much more sense to me. Thank you Danielle for talking with me. Thank you for telling me this, I know it can’t be easy for you to admit to being weak, that’s just not the woman I know so thank you.”

“You don’t think any less of me?”

“No not at all, and no you aren’t going to end up alone because of this either. Baby I love you, like I told you before we confronted Jacob. Somewhere between 12/7 and now I’ve fallen in love with you and I’m proud to call you my wife. It makes me even prouder when we learn something about each other, when we learn to communicate better and when we understand little things because of the bigger thing behind them. I now understand why you hesitate or get angry with me when I bark an order or make a demand without talking to you. It reminds you of the controlling asshole doesn’t it?”

“Yes.” Danielle admitted.

“So how are we going to handle that, I am controlling its who I am, I like things to go my way.”

“I think we’ll be ok with that because the one time we had the problem and I got angry about it you and I talked I didn’t get scolded or hurt like he used to do so I realized you may be controlling but you’re not like him. You like to have a happy household so you’re willing to talk and even compromise on some things.”

“Yes I learned a long time ago, a happy wife makes for a happy husband. Baby I like to be spanked and I like to spank - are you going to be able to handle that? Is it going to throw the past back up and make us deal with it every time?”

“No it won’t because I’ve known that about you for years. Besides a spank is playful and also sexual the way you want it, its not violent.”

“What can I do to help you? Is there something that I do that I need to stop.”

“No. Jon I don’t want you looking at me like I’m damaged now. I’m not. This is something that happened in my life years ago, its part of who I’ve become but its not part of who I am. You may not have ever found out about this unless the situation with Jacob happened because I don’t want to give asshole any more control over my life than he already had. Just realize that I fight back on things because I’ll never lose me again. As for sexual and normal interactions between us, don’t change them please. Nothing you’ve done yet has had any negative impact. Even when you grab me and throw me to the bed and follow down right on top of me, that doesn’t scare me so don’t stop it ok?”

“Ok baby.” Jon would then pull her to him for a kiss, this time its demanding and needy. He’s not asking for permission to kiss her he’s taking possession of her mouth with a right only a husband has.

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