Chapter 38

The following morning when Jon woke up he apprehensively ran his hand down her back over her ass. His touch was lighter and slower than normal. He smiled though, she gave him a part of herself she didn’t even realize she gave.

“What has you so smiley Mr.?” Danielle saw his smile from the corner of her eye and quickly wondered why he was so shy this morning in his touching.

“You.”

“Oh really? Why do you say that?” Danielle turned up onto her side and looked at him.

“You gave me more last night than your bare ass. Thank you.”

“Then please don’t act like you’re ashamed of it. I don’t understand everything that happened but can we talk about it not in bed, I’d like to have this conversation but I need coffee.” Dani smiled at him reaching up to kiss him softly before getting out of bed.

Jon grabbed her hand before she was clear of the bed, looking at her naked body briefly he asks,
“Are we ok?”

Danielle quickly bounced on top of him and smiled as she kissed him. “More than ok lover now stop worrying.”

“Alright then make me coffee woman.” He laughed moving to smack her ass and she grabbed his hand before he could connect. “You make it I’m taking a shower.” With that she got up and walked into the bathroom letting him see the still pink area on her ass that he had tanned last night. “Damn that’s hot.” He smiled as he got up and moved to the kitchen. She had him on a string, it was not often in his life that people spoke to him the way she does. The slightest apprehension from him this morning was called out. She was right of course, if he ever wanted her to participate with things a little outside of the norm he had to be confident in them and that they were not in some way wrong. As he waited for his wife he pulled up his email on his blackberry checking quickly if his schedule was still clear.

“Yes you’re schedule is clear, I write it.” She told him as she came around the corner.

“Hey do you have eyes in the wall or something?” Jon couldn’t figure out how she knew what he was doing.

‘No I just know you, my little control freak.” She then leaned against his body and kissed him deeply before moving to get her own coffee.

“So did that bother you last night? Dani I want us to be 1000% honest with each other right now I need to know if I went too far.” Jon bluntly gets the conversation going. He then looked down at his coffee cup. Oh how he wished he could read her mind right now.

“Jon what do you get from spanking me? Why do you enjoy it?” She asked without answering him.

“You, your trust. It is about you giving up control to me and knowing I won’t hurt you.” Jon explained his enjoyment to her and looked at her for an understanding of where the conversation was headed.

“Then do you have any idea how insulting it is to me when you say that you enjoyed my trust in you and then turn around in the next breath and tell me you don’t trust that I enjoyed it like I said I did.” Danielle smiled at him, “Jon I liked it, I don’t quite know why but I did.”

“Can you elaborate for me?” Jon exhaled and moved a few feet and took a seat at the breakfast nook across from her.

“I don’t know it felt like, well like that’s where I was supposed to be. Like, I can’t quite describe but it felt relaxing almost.” Danielle explained to him. This conversation was easier somehow in the light of day outside of their bedroom.

“Did it feel like you deserved it almost? Like every women needs a strong hand now and again and I was the right person to give that to you.” Jon offered to her, not knowing if he’s on target or not but knowing his wife as well as he thinks he does, this will give her information to use to figure out what she’s trying to say.

“Well I wanted to give you what you wanted. I know you like it so we started to play I just let go and let myself be there in that moment. That had to be what it was Jon I honestly was just there, my purpose was to bare my ass and be spanked. Very freeing.” She admitted looking up into his crystal blue eyes. “I’ve never wanted to be submissive as far as I know but it felt amazing to only have one thing on my mind right then.”

“You know what got me about it baby?” Jon asked knowing she had no idea.

“No tell me why you like spanking so much.”

“Seeing you trusting me fully and letting me take charge and you participated so willingly. I love that you gave up that independent streak for just last night and let me be in control.” Jon reached out and ran his fingers down the side of her face. Damn this woman did something to him. She had come so far from that spitfire he met in Toronto to now and he couldn’t wait to see how she would change and develop within the safety of a loving marriage.

“Yes, I knew you wouldn’t hurt me so I just let it happen.” Dani took more from her coffee cup.

“Did I push to hard, is your ass too sore?” Jon never wanted to hurt the fragile trust that was building in him, this part of play may take a while to develop or may end today depending on that she said. The thing he knew of course, was that Danielle would always stand out in his mind for taking the risk even when she didn’t understand the emotional release spanking gave them both.

Dani looked to Jon and tilted her head sideways, “So basically you want missionary position only for the rest of our lives.” She stated this as a fact instead of a question to get his honest answer.

“NO WAY what the-where did that come from?” Jon almost screams.

“Obviously it comes from you.” Dani said seriously. She was already in a bad mood because she could tell within about 2 hours she’d have proof positive that her and Jon didn’t succeed in making a baby. Her body always felt the same before her cycle started. “If you don’t stop freaking out about the fact that you spanked me last night then we are never going to do anything
besides missionary position anymore.”

“That’s not fair you don’t get to make the rules on our sex life we’re in this together.” Jon almost pouted.

“Really Jon? We’re a couple? We make choices about things together? Really?” Dani pushes at him sarcastically and then she sees the light bulb go off in his eyes.

“We didn’t do spanking simply because I wanted it we made that decision together.” He realized finally what Danielle had been saying all morning.

“Exactly so will you stop thinking you did something I didn’t want.” She asked him softly.

“Yes baby I’m so sorry for doubting you.” Jon took Dani into his arms and pulled her close.

Kissing her and kissing her neck before moving them back to the bedroom, “hold on.” She said before moving the bathroom, when she returned Jon looked at her and saw the tears threatening to spill. He stood up and took her into his arms, “you started huh?”

“Yes.” She cried into his chest. “Jon we need to go to the Dr again. It shouldn’t be this hard to get pregnant.”

“Baby let’s get out of here the Vineyard is waiting. Want to see our house in the Vineyard?” Jon asked knowing she would accept strictly cos he wanted to do it and he was offering her something special, one on one time with him.
“Ok Jon let’s do it.”

Before he knew it they were pulling into the Vineyard house and he looked over to Danielle, the drive hadn't really helped, they both knew she wasn't pregnant and Danielle wanted to cry in fact, she needed to cry. As they walked into the house Jon took her into his arms tightly.
“Baby it's ok to be upset, let it out I’m not going anywhere.” Jon reassured her before he felt the tension in her back break; it didn’t take long before he felt the wetness on his shirt from her tears of exhaustion. Jon realized quietly exactly how tired she must be. Mostly emotional exhaustion too, he knew all too well what that could do to a person. He had to acknowledge the changes she’s been through in the past 4 months. First with meeting him and moving across the country, becoming an instant wife, becoming a whole lot less private because of his fame. That alone would make most women stressed. Nope his wife took it in stride, she even fought the ghosts the NJ house offered, and she toured with them which had to be a nightmare for a non-veteran of the road. She had become their manager, had to face his disapproving mother, disapproving ex wife, damn when he thought of everything she has been though in the last 4 months it's no wonder she wasn’t pregnant. Jon picked her up and gently kissed her tears away, “Come on baby, let me love you back to life.”

“Jon I’ve got my” Danielle started to reject him.

Jon put his finger up against her lips. “Baby I’m not talking about sex; I just want to love you.” He quickly kissed her and then carried her up the stairs and into their room. Once he laid her on the bed he went and got their heating pad, plugged it in. He rolled her over onto it and curled up behind her. “Relax baby I’m here, I’m never leaving you.”

“Promise?” Danielle asks.

"Baby I promised you a lifetime and I don't go back on promises. Take what you need right now angel. I just realized how much has changed in your life over the past four months. Honey when things settle down and you get used to being part of the insanity that surrounds me I bet you'll be pregnant in no time. Everything from moving to dealing with my ex wife, it’s been constant for you and I love you for taking it so well. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?" Jon asked. It amazed him now that he thought about it just how well she’s handled how much stress she’s been under.

"Make your mother and you’re ex wife and your kids all love me." Danielle said off the cuff but Jon knew those things hurt her.

"Baby the kids are already on your side, they don't quite love you yet but they like you a lot. Dot is just being a possessive she'll get over it and my mother, she and I are going to have a few words when I feel like talking to her again. None of them are us though baby. What can I do?"

"Just keep me in the loop on things, with the band or whatever, I like to be included, it doesn't
make me feel like our marriage is in my imagination."

"Baby if we were in your imagination your life would be perfect and we'd be pregnant and you wouldn't be lying on a heating pad to take the cramps away. I'll try to remember to include you even more." Maybe when your cramps go away we can take a walk on the beach, I'd love to show you our escape house." Jon laughed as he kissed her shoulder blade.

Two hours later Jon and Danielle are walking down the beach near their house, Jon in worn blue jeans and a white long sleeve thermal shirt and Danielle in pretty much the same attire but with a blanket thrown over her shoulders. When she had started to walk out the door Jon grabbed a throw blanket off the couch and wrapped it around her shoulders telling her they might need it if he couldn't resist the urge to kiss her senseless.

"Jon?"

"Yeah baby."

"what did Dorothea want?' Danielle had been in the other room when he took the call but she could tell by the conversation it was her.

'She wants us to take the kids on the road with us for the next leg of the tour." Jon explained while taking her hand in his.

Danielle stopped dead, "She what?"