Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Chapter 39

“She said they were hating New York and it was becoming increasingly hostile at the house, she asked me to take them with me on the road for the leg. I told her we would discuss it.” Jon explained as he continued walking with her.

“Did you get in trouble with her for not immediately saying yes?”

“Yes I did but I reminded her that I don't make these decisions on my own, I'm married and I have a wife to consider. Dot wasn't happy but she'll get over it.” Jon smiled as soon as he said it. Damn when he's good he's good and he knew that one earned him brownie points.

"Seriously she thought you should just take the kids without talking to me?" Danielle is shocked but she's not at how Dot treated their marriage. From what she understood about Dorothea, she felt that Jon would always be hers deep down. Dorothea, according to Jon didn't want to let go.

"She thought that since the kids are hers and mine that we were the only ones that had to deal with it. I had to explain to her in no uncertain terms that you and I are a package deal and we would talk about the kids visiting."

Danielle smiled at Jon. She knew that he wanted to see his kids, she knew that he yearned for the dad stuff he hasn't had in a while. She also knew that sooner or later she had to get to know them.

"Jon bring them out."

"Are you sure baby, what about us getting pregnant? The kids are going to make it a little more difficult. Alone time will be at a premium. When I make love to you on the bus we'll have to gag you so you won't scream." He laughed, he couldn't believe that she wants the kids out on the road, damn he loved this woman, she so willingly accepts his children from a previous relationship even though it’s got to tare her up inside because she so desperately wants one of her own.

“I think we'll survive Jon. They are part of you therefore they are part of us. I want to know them and I want them to feel comfortable in our home and with us as much as they feel in NY with their mom.” Danielle wasn't lying when she said this. She thought the idea of seeing Jon in full Dad mode might help her release some tension about the idea of becoming parents together. Jon smiled completely at ease with the idea that the kids coming on the road but smiling more because his wife wanted it as much as he does.

“I love you woman, you need to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt. I love that you want my kids with us on the road, thank you.” Jon ran his hand into her hair and gently pulled her to him for a tender kiss. Letting go of her they arrived back at their house and sat down out by fire pit which Jon quickly got going. He turned after the fire roared to life and took her in his arms again, having her sit in front of him between his legs so they could cuddle and talk.

“Jon, I know how much you miss them, I can see it in your eyes when you talk about them. Tell me more, tell me about each of them so I can start to feel what you do.”

“Baby I could tell you everything, I was there when they were born.”

”Really? All of them?” Danielle asked him.

“Yes baby, see I wanted my kids, we -Dot and I - made them completely on purpose.” Jon started explaining. “See I've always thought that kids should have the luxury of knowing that their parents brought them into this world on purpose. There's nothing wrong with people in love to have a 'oops we're pregnant' talk when they love the kid and it’s a family. I personally though love to be able to tell each of my kids the story of when they were conceived, what was going on at the time.”

“So tell me about Stephanie.” Danielle confused by his disclosure allowed her mind to open up to his view of things in hopes that she would understand better.

“Steph was our first; we had been together since 1979, so at that point 13yrs into our relationship we decided to start a family. We talked about it, and decided at that point, we were financially set; we could afford as many kids as we wanted and it was time. We knew that we were going to be together forever or so we thought. We knew we wanted more from life than just each other so we decided to make a child. Each one of them we talked about do we want another, are we ready to bring another life into the mix. I love knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that when my kids ask me, was I an accident I can whole heartedly tell them no, you were 100% planned. Our children will have the same luxury too, of knowing we intentionally made love to bring them into the world, there were no oops about their being here.” Jon explained running his hands up and down her arms as he looked out at the ocean calming from his core being with her here in this safe haven of love.

“Was it easy to make them all?”

“NO actually, baby Jake was a pain to make. I remember because we were already running around with Steph and Jesse and I was just going into negotiations to buy the Soul just really starting to get into philanthropy. We just loved being parents though. After 22 yrs of being together we finally found something that both of us really really enjoyed at the same time. For once we were truly on the same page. Being a parent is amazing. I don’t want you to get upset when I say this baby but when the Dr puts that baby in your arms you get it.” Jon’s eyes are full of love and memories at this point. Danielle looked up over her shoulder at him to see his face happier than she’s seen him in months. The discussion of his kids has a way of bringing a smile to his eyes by way of his heart.

“Is it different every time?” Danielle asked wondering if she’d ever get to experience what he’s talking about. She slowly moved her hand over her womb silently begging for the chance. Jon’s hand covered hers instinctively. “Baby it's different every time. When he handed me my daughter I had this feeling of ‘oh my god I’m responsible for a little girl.’ This is unique to the boys in the regard that I remember thinking how I’d have to protect her from the likes of men like me. When he handed me the boys it was all about what I’d teach them, what I would show them, the men I’d teach them to become.” Jon reached down and kissed Danielle on the cheek.

“Have any of your kids asked you about where they came from?”

“OH yes, Jesse actually asked me one day if he was a mistake because I guess I was ignoring him in lieu of Steph or Jake I can’t remember but it was great to be able to turn around and look at him dead in the eye and tell him, ‘NO Jesse you were not a mistake you were 100% planned.’ I think every kid should be able to know his/her parents wanted him completely.” Jon pulled Dani tighter to him and they both relaxed into the embrace. Jon wanted to take things further after his admissions of love and devotion but he knew she wouldn’t be welcome to his advances until next week.

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